Thursday, January 14, 2010

Conan gets No Love from NBC

After January 22, 2010...there will be no more Conan O'Brien.  America's most beloved ginger is calling it quits since The Chin is taking back his 11:35 pm spot.  NBC sure knows how to hang on to talent.  With shows like, Chuck and The Sing Off I'm sure they're not worried.  I'd like to see Conan rise above all this crap and get signed onto a new show, which will probably happen.  Hopefully, it's on a cable network since NBC and it's sisters are basically giving up hope these days.  Whatever Jay...I'm not watching!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

awwww yeeea.

If you love Jersey Shore as much as I do...then you probably still don't like this image.  Snooki was partying it up in Miami this week.  Why? Because she's on MTV's top rated show so of course they're whoring her out to clubs!  Snickers doesn't long as she can BEAT THAT BEAT. Hope her poof doesn't get messed up.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

King Leonidas, no more.

Gerard Butler came into our lives as the most manly, muscle packed Adonis of a man.  He was rippled and sweaty and every muscle screamed while he battled hundreds of men in 300.  Two romantic comedies later, he is nothing but your average looking male.  Thanks a lot Katherine Heigl!  Although, Gerard still has that Scottish accent to fall back on.  I'm sure that drops the panties every time. 

I'm such a fuckin lady.

Finally, Rihanna has moved on from that guy who's name I won't even mention. And moved on well.  LA Dodger Matt Kemp looks like he can handle Rihanna, as opposed to you know who.  But, these two have been humping all over a boat in Mexico all week.  Which leads me to believe that the wait really is over. I'm proud of you Riri...get you some!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

That child will have the abs of a god.

Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani were hanging out in St.Barth's this week.  I think it's safe to say these two,gorgeous human beings are most beautiful couple in the world.  Screw Posh & Becks!  Little Kingston has hit the genetic jackpot thanks to his folks.  Just look at those abs! Both of them have rock hard,six packs.  It's hard to believe Gwen has EVER had children.  Props to you Rossdale-Stefani are perfect.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Purity Schmurity

Yep, kids...he finally did it.  That curly haired Jonas brother went on his honeymoon and tossed that purity ring into the ocean!  At least, that's what I pictured.  Then, he performed a very choreographed dance before he hopped into bed and lost the v-card once and for all.  Kevin finally knows what the whole world knows.  I'm sure he felt like the rest of us after losing it...a little disappointed and extremely hungover.  Right?  Well, anyways I'm glad the kid got laid.  Perhaps the music will get better soon?  What's even scarier than thinking about Kevin Jonas having sex are those booty shorts he's wearing.  GET A ROOM!

Wedding Crasher Rule # 49: Don't Get Married

Just like he did in the actual movie...Vince Vaughn got hitched this week. US Weekly reported that he wed his Canadian Realtor girlfriend, Kyla Weber.  The ceremony was held in Illinois where "several dozens of family and friends" watched the couple said "I do."  After all the hot ass Vince has gotten in the past decade, he up and marries a non-famous Realtor.  It is also rumored that after hearing the news, Jennifer Anniston stayed in bed all weekend watching The Break Up. 

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

TLC tackles another "issue"

TLC loves to prey on the weak...or small...or Asian...or over weight.  The channel loves to show us the daily lives of everyday Americans who are struggling with something unique.  We've had the world famous Jon and Kate + 8, Little People Big World,The Little Couple,Cake Boss...AND NOW One Big Happy Family.  They love to play up the stereotypes such as the loud mouth Italians and Mormon families with a million kids but TLC has created a new show about an over weight African American family, The Cole family.  Sometimes I wonder if TLC looks at ethnic stereotypes and decides to make a show out of them?  I can think of a whole list of people who are gonna start collecting petitions against this channel.  Maybe not today but in the near future.  After TLC does a show about a Latin Taco Factory who's children are little, the mother is obese, and the daughter has seven kids, oh and they like to bake too!  They're also famous for their I Didn't Know I was Pregnant series, which is equally troubling.  I almost feel bad watching their shows, even though I do love them, I still feel wrong.  This century's children will see how easy fame really is!  Just conjure up a crazy, mixed up family with a few disorders and BAM you have a TV show! I can't wait to see what kind of politically incorrect family journey TLC comes up with next!

Monday, January 4, 2010

One of the least favorite little Gosselins.

 Its ok Cara...we understand. It is hard to live the life of luxury at such a young age. Although your parents have split, chances are you will never know the difference. All those cute babies are so sweet and endearing, except for that one. Cara was the one twin who always threw fits every chance possible. Kate Gosselin has actually been lying low lately. Probably because she is working on her TALK SHOW. Yes, she wants to be the next Oprah or Tyra. It does make sense since both talk show queens will be giving up their seats next year.
One thing is for sure...guests on her show won't be allowed to talk about themselves.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

So, this is why she married him...

These two lovebirds were caught in an Italian drizzle this week.  Mariah actually received an award for her portrayal as a school counselor in Precious.  We have all seen Glitter and know how fabulous Mariah was in that.  But, girl did good this time.  Probably because the movie wasn't starring her.

Good thing P.Diddy's umbrella man was busy the day Mariah met Nick Cannon.  Or else Farmsworth Bentley would have ended up with Mimi.  We're all still in shock of why these two got hitched but as of now, they're actually making it work.  Some would say it's a slight upgrade from Mariah's last husband, big shot Tommy Matola.  But, hey if you like your men young and won!  Plus, Nick is set for the rest of his long life.  At this rate, he'll have a good twenty years at the end of his life to be the player he once tried to be.  He will surely inherit all that Hello Kitty crap which will make nice gifts for his new young girlfriends someday.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Thanks Angie!

Brad Pitt used to be the sex god of America.  Every man and woman loved him and we couldn't get enough of his cute little, Midwest charms.  He married America's sweetheart, Jennifer Anniston.  Ahh...the world was perfect and equal.  Fast forward to the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith where Brad meets Angelina Jolie.  Then, before we knew it he left Jen and knocked up Angelina.  Six kids later...Brad Pitt is looking pretty rough.  Especially with his recent facial hair decision.  Maybe he should spend less time making and or adopting babies and shave that thing off his face.  I'm going to watch Fight Club in memory of the Brad Pitt we lost so long ago.

Friday, January 1, 2010

I'm so Hard

I was shocked when I saw this picture and yet... somehow not surprised. Disney darling, Demi Lovato seems to be inspired by RiRi lately. Nobody does studded leather gloves unless your name is LADY GAGA OR RIHANNA! Step off bitch. If you really want to be hard perhaps you should go out with Chris Brown for a few months. Take a long,violent limo ride with him to the Grammy's and see how you feel. Stop trying to rebel. Go back to your little Sunday night slumber parties with the cast of High School Musical. Or, if you really want to toughen up...get smart and follow Vanessa Hudgens. She has great ideas on how to get out of the tween spotlight.

J.Lo kicks off the New Year.

Luckily, this kind of scripted crap only happens once a year.  Jennfier Lopez sang on Ryan Seacrest's special last night and managed to not fall on her ass this time.  I love Jenny from the block but please give it up already.  Nobody performs forever! She continued to celebrate the new year by zipping herself into an awkward catsuit.  Marc Anthony dressed in his usual sunglasses that hide those scary eyes of his.  Almost like those craft store eyes you buy and put on paper bags.  Hopefully he wears those glasses to bed.  Other celebs spent the evening poppin champagne and dressing nicer than the rest of us.  Nothing says "Happy New Year" like wearing a cheap,black dress in a basement.  Here's to 2010!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

An Ode to 2009!

Thank You DJ Earworm, for making these things every year.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Falcon! Get back in the Attic!

There were many memorable quotes this year. Besides the obvious Kanye West vs Taylor Swift ordeal...
the balloon boy wins this showdown. While on the Larry King Show, Falcon Heene stated,
"You guys said we did this for the show."   Falcon must not be involved in the whole publicity stunt planning process.  Let's hope he holds this over his parents heads for the rest of his life.