Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Britney sings of a Ménage à trois...shocking

Everyone's favorite little crazy gal, Britney Spears released a new song yesterday. Be prepared to be astonished because the entire song depicts her being one out of three and playing twister on the floor. In my eyes, Britney can do no wrong but I would have loved her to release something a little more modern.  I mean, threesomes...weren't those all the rage back in 2006?  Perhaps Brit could have tackled a new topic like global warming or insurgents in Afganistan?  Like I said, I love the trainwreck but I'm just not sure if the world could really use three more Britneys as her picture suggests. I'm afraid Starbucks just isn't ready for that!

Feel free to log on to her site and listen to "3"!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Save the Pre-Nup for later, please!

Congratulations to the new bride, Khloe Kardashian!  Although she and Laker's player, Lamar Odom have only been "boning"(as Khloe would say) for a little over a month, wedding bells rang loud and fast yesterday at a private Beverly Hills estate.  The dress was Vera Wang, of course, and it was said to be the ultimate black tie affair.  I'm sure E! cameras broke up the lavish setting but that never prevents the Kardashians from acting in the moment. 
It must be nice to have an entire wedding planned and perhaps paid for by the same channel that produces your show! Personally, I absolutely love wasting thirty minutes of my life watching these exotic sisters complain about va jay jays and Bentleys.  Actually, I don't mind wasting an hour because I usually watch it some point.

Anyways, having watched Khloe bounce from man to man in her fabulous size 16 stilettos, it is shocking that she suddenly marries a random, utterly unknown Lakers player.  Unless he's knocked up some waitress who claimed it was not consensual, I haven't heard of him. 

This marriage will obviously make for a great new season of Keeping up with the Kardashians. I possibly couldn't be the first one to think of this...  This shot gun wedding is obviously from the same writer's who have been slipping Kourtney blank birth control pills!  What better way to keep ratings high than to manipulate the lives of these semi-famous daughters of OJ Simpson's lawyer.
What is even crazier is that the two blame the upcoming NBA season to their uber fast nuptuals.  Lamar and Kim have been rumored to be saving the pre-nuptuals until a later date. Meaning Sunday's wedding was nothing more than a jazzed up birthday party since the legal documents have yet to be signed.  Someone must have told Khloe that it is way easier to get out of a marriage if it's not legal.  Congrats Khloe!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Because Britney won't be here forever...

Well, well, well it seems like America's new favorite pop-tart has finally taken the wise advice of those who blazed the nikelodeon and disney trails before her and finally become a real,raunchy,staying out past curfew kinda girl. Grab the Purell because Miley has gotten DIRTY. She slowly found her way to the pole like many teen stars have...on stage! Recently the media has been oh so shocked to see her kissing boys and hugging them while on the set of her new movie. People need to get over it! Miley is already 17 years old and in Hollywood that's equivilent to at least 25! Say goodbye to Hannah Montana and that synthetic, platnium wig! Miley is ready for some more action. The papparazzi needs to realize that most girls who are 17 are usually accompied by an infant and a GED. Our dear Miley hasn't fully gone wild yet but I have a feeling that once she does...things will never be the same! So my advice is to keep doing all that "provacative" dancing that parents are complaining about and you will be just fine! I mean hey...look at Britney Spears!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Bluffin with my muffin.

OMG could it be? Yes--this is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, or as
we know her LADY GAGA... She has succeeded in keeping her identity pretty vague with the help of masks,feather,leather,pleather, and blood.
There are a few handful of photos circulating of Gaga's pre-fame life. We all know she was
huge in the New York City underground before she hooked up with Akon and his label. Miss Germanotta seems to look just like a real girl! This just gives me hope, that I too can grow up to become a fabulous, living piece of art who dodges  transgender rumors!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Simpson fumbles, at life.

There is an urgent, ongoing manhunt, or should I say "bitch hunt" for Jesscia Simpson's famous dog, Daisy. Last week Miss Simpson reported to the media that a coyote had snatched up her beloved pooch. This then lead Jessica to believe that Daisy would be back soon. Why? "Because Daisy is fast!" quoted Simpson. Wow...First Tony now Daisy? I wonder if Tony Romo was also taken into the woods by a pack of coyotes? It seems nobody can stand to be around Jessica these days. Although I remember one person who could...there was once this guy named Nick Lache. Perhaps he is the culprit in this gripping drama? It's safe to say no one is betting money on the safe return of Miss Daisy.
Tony Romo is probably wondering how Daisy got so damn lucky. Hopefully this tragedy will be laid to rest once Jessica empties her purse only to find Daisy wedged next to a box of Swiss-Rolls.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Get Mommy a Beer!

This quite possibly may be the best site I've seen lately. Most of us have witnessed the usual "child on a leash" incident the mall. Or a newborn in the front passenger seat... have compiled some of the best photos exhibiting why some people need to be neutered before their 16th birthday.

I love that someone has actually taken the time to put all of these into one, convenient little website. Genius! Definitely check out the entire site because every picture is better...i mean worse than the last.

I don't know what worse...the hickies or the eyeshadow?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Little Miss Dark Side

We get it already! You are a bonefide tough, bad ass woman who loves sex more than men! Megan Fox has been circulating our lives for a few years now and at first, I absolutely loved her. She was a "guy's girl" with a bitchy attitude that seemed genuine. But, with every interview she gives... I just want her to stop talking all together. Every word seems associated with her tattoos,her higher than average libido, and how she is soooo mysterious. It's like she can't believe other females enjoy getting inked up and rolling around in the sheets afterwords. I'm not denying that she IS gorgeous but who isn't in Hollywood? Plus, she is hardly famous for her work. Crews who have worked with Megan share horror stories and even Michel Bay, who pretty much handed her fame on a stainless-steel, Cartier encrusted platter, tell of how ungreatful she is. Our favorite little pouty princess has even gone as far as calling Bay "Hitler!" Too bad the genius Diablo Cody decided to hand over yet another undeserved project to Megan in her Jennifer's Body film. I wonder what Megan will talk about next? ....well we pretty much already know.

Please check this video out...she gets completely ignored the entire time!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

"changing the world one sequin at a time"

Gaga for the Day... enjoy.

Here is the fabulous, yet bloody, Lady Gaga at the VMA's a few days ago. Thanks to Kanye West, it seems everything else went utterly unnoticed! Sad...because now many might not even hear about Miss Gaga hanging from a meat hook at the end of her show. Or when she accepted her Best New Artist award with a face full of lace while thanking, "THE GAYS AND GOD!" But who else could pull this shit off? Certainly not Madge! Who happend to give a semi-inappropriate speech about her friendship with The King of Pop. Give it up Esther, there's a new crazy, bitch in town...and "she's changing the world one sequin at a time". It takes a alot more than rolling on the VMA stage in a wedding dress these days!

how could you be so heartless?

i'm just about sick of hearing about the whole kanye and t.swift ordeal BUT i'm gonna say one thing. it's pretty sad that he had the courage(or should i say hennessy) to propel his pathetic body on stage only to make himeself look like a complete ass,douchebag,pretentious prick...

these two artists are at the very opposite sides of the music spectrum. so, props to mr.west in succeeding in representing the hip-hop community in such a fantastic light. way to go! most of taylor swift's fans are probably not waiting in line for his next cd that will surely sample the shit out of everything. i'm not a huge swift fan but i watched in horror as he ripped the mic out of her fragile, innocent hand and felt awful. what really burns my ass is how some highly overpaid rapper whom everyone has acclaimed genius wants nothing more than to be a headliner.

The worst part is how he "sincerely apologized" to her...OVER HIS FUCKING BLOG.

I'm pretty sure Miss Swift is not following any of his social networking sites.

We found out this morning that Kanye had actually called her and apologized over the phone, so I'm sure he now considers himself damn near a martyr. Excuse Taylor for accepting her first VMA and wanting to thank a few people.

Lastly, Beyonce did nothing shocking by being the classiest diva on earth by allowing Taylor to step back on stage and finish her speech! Sure, maybe Single Ladies was a bigger phenomenon than Taylor's video but who cares? It's a's bascially saying that teenagers who had time to vote inbetween searching for porn and doing their algebra homework liked watching Taylor transform into a band geek, again. This was no Grammy, Kanye!