Monday, November 23, 2009

The AMA's were a hot mess!

Everyone is freaking out about the whole Adam Lambert "dancer's face in his crotch" thing and his onstage fall. The world is also laughing at Jennifer Lopez, who actually perfomed for the first time in about thirty years. Oh, she fell too.  However, nobody has mentioned Kelly Clarkson's...apperance.  She's looking rather zaftig these days.  Sometimes maybe it's better to just watch the awards from your home with a bag of gummi bears and a chicken gordita crunch wrap supreme.  Plus, Kate Hudson slipped a nip while presenting an award.  Next year maybe the AMA's should carry a PG-13 rating. 

Friday, November 20, 2009

Megan's dynamic acrobat stunts are gracing The New York Times Magazine this week.  She's had sexy pictures before but none quite like this.  Here, she is pretty much preparing for the gynocologist to walk in.  Plus, I'm pretty sure I see some stubble...on her armpit.  The doctor will see you now. 

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

This Week: Oprah talks oral sex and Sarah Palin!

Not in the same day, of course.  This week Oprah invited Sarah Palin on her show Monday for the first time ever!  They discussed election crap, Palin's fabulous pre-set wardrobe, her book, and Levi guy.  Sarah Palin went on to discuss her future plans while not giving many details, like usual.  The next day Oprah decided to bring Jenna Jamison on her show to talk about her career and how women enjoy erotic things now days.  Newsflash Ms. Winfrey...this isn't anything new.  Oprah acts like she's never heard about the pornography industry and any other related subjects.  Don't try and act like you and Stedman haven't slipped into the naughty side of the movie store!  I'm sure Oprah has had many "AHA MOMENTS" as she would say.  But, why not bring on both women within one show?  I mean, that is Sarah Palin's next step right?  Or are politics Jenna's next step? Wait, now I'm confused. 

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

...and the world stops NOW.

Taylor Lautner and Ashley Greene look beautiful.  Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart look awkwardly nice.  No shocker there.  As the hours inch closer and closer to the nation's release of New Moon, women aged 3-87 are lining up to watch the second installment of The Twilight Saga. At 12:05 on November 19, 2009, the world will certainly stand still to witness the much anticipated movie.  I will certainly be in the theater ready to watch some good ol' vampire shananagins take place.  However, I will be leaving my Twilight signs and memorabilia at home. The whole cast has been on a worldwide premiere escapade while we simple humans sit and wait for our chance.  All I can say is little girls better shut the hell up during the movie.  I don't care that Edward hasn't seen Bella since he left her in the woods and they reunite before your very eyes.  Shhhh! 

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Breaking LiLo News via Twitter

For all of us who constantly invade Lindsay's are some twitter updates from yesterday.  All of these tweets took place within one hour and as far as we know are actual and up to date. Seems like she is the only person who's not talking about her slit wrists and her sleeping with every man in a 20 mile radius.

lindsaylohan i just got the tanning lotion, smells so good!!

lindsaylohan hahahahahaha i almost forgot about the choice of music that is played over the scenes in the morgue on csi- it's so porno hahahaha

lindsaylohan is it even legal to say such things like these bloggers do? isn't it defamation of character!?!? slander maybe? anyone?

...and to answer your question sweetie, yes it is.
slander is saying false things.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Brown continues to beat it up.

Since Chris Brown is still riding Rihanna's coat tails, his new video has been released during the same week.  Ri Ri's Russian Roulette video comes out tonight on 20/20.  Her video is said to be "violent" and what not.  Duh, it's about losing a game of RUSSIAN ROULETTE people!  Anyways, Chris can get sucked down a Los Angeles sewer drain for all I care.  His new song Crawl literally talks about what you think it would...crawling back to love.  However, he forgets to mention the part where he beat the shit out of his girlfriend.  His video is said to be "all his ideas" so when we see a beautiful lady with a half shaved head and big structured shoulder pads, I suppose it's meant to be Rihanna?  So very creative!  Not nearly as creative as his new CD cover though!  How uhh...cute of him to include Alvin and the Chipmunks.  Although, by the looks of that guitar, they better watch their backs.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

No, No, No.

Nobody knows exactly why or how this has happened. 
Why would the 55 pound Amy Winehouse acquire a set of boobs that out weight that rat's nest sitting on her head?  More importantly, who paid for those damn things?  The prices of crack and coke have risen since the recession so tell me how she could pull this off?  Plus, you have to calculate the cost of liquid eyeliner into the equation.  But, then again subtract the price of good hygiene and perhaps it all equals out.  At least Amy has been spotted looking a little more than alive these past few months.  Which is better compared to her earlier photos from this year.  Wanna know even more fabulous news? ...she wants those things bigger.
Have a nice day.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

This Genie Might Need Help Getting Out!

As you may have noticed, Christina Aguilera has packed on a few pounds.  Well, not really.  Looks pretty convincing though!  The genius behind this photo is, where they did this to fifty other celebs including Victoria Beckham and Megan Fox.  It's safe to say it makes the world feel a little better about themselves.  It could also be used as a warning for famous folks, THIS COULD BE YOU!
...if you put one more chocolate covered pretzel with carmel drizzle in your mouth.  Britney this means you!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My Little Pony does Lady GaGa!

So, takes original, boring My Little Pony dolls and modifies them.  It's actually kind of cool, especially her Lady GaGa inspired one!  She also made other ones like The Joker! check it out...

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Europe's MTV Awards

We got Kanye bitching a fit onstage and MTV's EMA's in Berlin got Katy Perry in this little ensemble.  Those things actually light up.  I'm actually glad I didn't go this year because I was planning on wearing the same thing.  Talk about awkward situation!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Chris Brown is Full of Shit.

Chris Brown sat down with MTV's Sway to persuade the nation that he truly is sorry. Chris Brown on MTV:

"My thoughts [when I look back on it now] is like, 'Why did it happen?' “He told MTV News correspondent Sway during an hour-long, one-on-one interview that took place in Brown's native Virginia.”Like, 'What was I thinking? What is wrong with you?' That's what I'm thinking with myself. That's what my thoughts are, basically, now."

Aw shucks folks, this guy seems to feel so bad about his actions. He then goes on to tell of how much therapy has helped him "see what went wrong" and "being young, you don't think first." I know lots of young people who have resisted the urge to beat the shit out of their girlfriends. He wonders "Why it happened..." Well, probably because your ego is way too big for your own good. This guy could have been bigger than Michael Jackson someday. Most people saw the picture of Rihanna's post-beat down picture, so I'm not posting it. Google it for yourself if you want to see the horror of it.

Media criticized Rihanna for supposedly getting back with Chris for a short period of time. Probably just enough time to get hit a couple more times to see he was still an ass. Luckily, she has cut him out of her life and moved on...or so we believe. Her debut interview filled the airwaves this week explaining how she didn't want other girls to experience the same thing. Now, the press is trying to spin this as a "Let's not let this happen again" and "If this could happen to could happen to you." Since, this has never happened before, anywhere!

I can't wait for Rihanna and Chris's albums to release so we can stop talking about them.

GaGa Oh La La.

First, Kermitt the Hello Kitty!  Here's a little Lady GaGa to brighten up your day.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Dear Bella,

Most of the world knows the face of this awkward, "Oh, I'm so shy" Twilight star, Kristen Stewart.  I hereby publically state that I AM TIRED OF HER SHIT.  Every interview is so damn annoying and not to mention reminds me of that strange, wannabe punk who sat behind you in class while cutting up her jeans with  Fiscar's scissors.  Kristen tries to be so "un-Hollywood" that it makes me wish she could just get bitten already, for real.  All of her head scrataching, twitching, nail biting, hair messing, and constant shakiness seems like she is in the need of some crack.  What's even more ridiculous is that the only reason she portrays an excellent good Bella Swan is because...BELLA IS KRISTEN.  She acts exacly the same off screen, therefore proving her acting is little more than remembering a few lines. So please watch her other five movies [don't forget the one on Lifetime] and discover that every character she plays twitches and acts pretentious just like Kristen!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Halloween is for Everyone?

Celebrities like to get out of the everyday hassles of being themselves just as much as we do. Rhianna is a sexy tiger...although I'm sure she'd wear that on stage. While Ice T's wife, Coco, is actually wearing her Sunday Best. Heidi Klum is looking like some sort of Hindu Shrine while Seal is a Chinese man of some sorts. Leave it up to boring old Jessica Alba to dress as "Dora the Explorer." Stereotype? Just because she's Latina doesn't mean she has a fascination with maps and fiestas!

E! takes on another family and we're supposed to watch...sadly we will.

So what I'm seeing is that E! can take unknown has-ben families that have bred with other faded celebs and make a reality show about it? Yep, this time they chose Lorenzo Lamas's overly bronzed clan.  E! will take us on a journey about how they are trying to...well I'm sure one of them is trying to accomplish something?  Don't the sisters share a clothing store? Oh, wait wrong family. Anyways, the Lamas household seems to be parallel to the Kardashians, only more blonde.  If it's a reality show, then why are the family members located under Cast Bios?  If by cast, they mean people living through E! scripts then they are correct.  Most of them have been in soap operas and Lifetime movies, not to mention The Bachelor!  The Lamas seem to be a pretty classy, prestigious group of folks. Most viewers barely remember Lorenzo, but from the looks of it, he should be making his next appearance on To Catch a Predator.